I$NY

Friend of a friend is an agronomist for New York’s Central Park. He got a call a couple of weeks ago from the Bloomberg administration. Story is that the conversation ran something like

“Hello!” (or “Hi!” or “Howdy” or “Fuck you” or whatever passes for comradely greeting in New York.)

“Hi!”

“Quick question from the Mayor.”

“Fire away.”

“Michael Bloomberg was wondering.”

“Yes?”

“Well he wanted to know.”

“Yes?”

“We want to know whether there’s any chance that 100,000 people standing on the lawn in Central Park could damage the topsoil?”

“No.”

“But it’s 100,000 people.”

“No chance at all.”

“But they’d all be there at the same time. And topsoil. Well, that’s delicate stuff, right? I mean, there’s but a couple of inches of it in the Amazon.”

“The grass is pretty tough.”

“So no way then?”

“No.”

“Not even if they were all fat? And ugly?”

You get the idea. Didn’t stop Bloomberg banning the protest in Central Park, but at least they couldn’t blame it on the mud.

Still, Bloomberg has taken a bit of a PR battering. And so, to head off the impression that Mayor’s office is full of shit, they’ve launched a “peaceful political activist” campaign. Protesters wearing a badge claiming they’re peaceful can receive discounts on protest essentials such as food, water, and eyedrops with which to rinse out pepper spray.

Not to be outdone, Code Pink have launched a far more useful campaign.

The plan is to distribute these badges to NY’s finest. If they’re well behaved, they get coupons.

Keep your eye on CounterConvention.org to see how this sort of incentivised policing works.