Let Me Make McMillions For You

Ronald McDonald has found a new way to get down with the kids. McDonald’s Corp. is going to offer between $1 and $5 any time a rap song featuring the words “Big Mac” appears on commercial radio.

It’s easy to see how this can become lucrative. Although I haven’t the time right now, I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard to put together a brilliant and highly remunerative rap. The British poet laureate Andrew Motion did such a wonderful job of it for Prince William’s birthday that I feel confident it’d take only a few moments’ thought to earn millions.

Being the generous person I am, I thought I’d jot down the building blocks for any reader of Class Worrier who wants to make their fortune.

Big Mac, I have discovered, rhymes with the following words:

  • big snack
  • rib crack
  • fig sac
  • cardiac
  • heart attack
  • fat back

All you have to do is throw in a verb or two, and you’re away.

Once you’re done, I can also provide you with a description of the genre:
mcrap.

I know. I’m all heart.